Random seeking is though casual but sensitive people like me take almost everything to heart (no kidding). Besides having the jolliest personality and a smile on my face every time, I am a kind of person who feels almost everything really deeply. If not at the time of happening, later for sure. Yes, I rarely get bored. I remember once I was sitting alone in the university (which is really rare too), a friend of mine came and asked, “Hey are you bored? I never saw you like that” to which I responded, “I am thinking hence busy. I rarely get bored.” I still remember that day and feel like it’s just a blink away. But honestly, time flies. This happened 3 years ago, believe me, or not!
We are sensitive enough to take things on the heart. We all are but do not show it. Yes, we cry but not in public. We tell the world that we’re the happiest people on Earth but deep inside, we’re the most broken ones. We daydream and wake up with a fear that we’ve lost our minds. Yes, but we get so scared that pull off those thoughts from our minds just like that. And guess what happens next? They go into the subconscious and haunts us in dreams. We get NIGHTMARES!
There are so many songs that are related to us. SO MANY! When we hear them for the first time, we’re like, “Oh it’s for me.” And then with time, we move ahead to new songs. And then all of a sudden, when we’re way too upset while changing the playlist, we come across through the same songs and thus go down the memory lane. Yes, pretty much weird us.
We trust some people in a blink and have no idea that these people will tear us apart. Of course, if we’ve even a bit of idea that the person we’re trusting is not the right one, we won’t. But wait, sometimes we trust the people whom we KNOW we shouldn’t yet we do. Yes, how stupid of us! And then these people, oh well, they take an advantage of our innocence (read: stupidity). I am trying to be really polite here because us includes the personal me. Who in this world is worth a trust? Tell me about it!
We read books, we study a lot, we learn, we fall, we survive, and yet get depressed. We’ve everything that we want, we eat good, dress well, yet unhappy. Where’s the peace? Where’s the happiness? Oh, not the fake one. Where is the real one? Oh wait, I think we know that. We all do but are scared to jump in that loop. You know why? Because we are humans. Those selfish little creatures who try to live in the present, think about the past, and worry about the future hence forget about our own selves.
We expect from the people we love the most. We think that whatever we’ll ask for, we’ll get it. After all, our parents (read: my dad) has taught us this all our lives. They gave us what we asked for. We didn’t even wish for certain things, but they were in our collections way too sooner than anybody else ever had it. Those silly motorbikes that came the latest in the market, those stupid video games that we used to spend hours on, those toys and random stuff from the surroundings in the shop that we just looked at and was in the shopping trolleys the next minute, every single time! But now when we’re grown-ups, things are not the same. Yes, we’ve not changed but the priorities have. Of course, we’ll not cry in the middle of a store if we don’t get something we like. We’ll just suppress the thoughts in our broken hearts and move around. Yes, nobody can control our hearts when they’re hurt. NOBODY.
I cannot say now, “Hey I need that Porsche. Oh, I love it. I want that right now!” and it will come to me. I cannot even ask. Wait, whom to ask? Am I not a grown up now? Forget it. Those silly wishes.
We have grown up way too soon. Or maybe, we grew up before our expectations. We have matured and that’s what we wanted. Growing up before time is not a good thing. But hey, we had to. And we’ve to live it.
Let’s live it then, with a lump in our throats every time someone breaks our heart.
Let’s just forget the past.
Let’s not let our dreams shatter so fast.