This is going to be long (over 1900 words, OMG didn’t plan that). I won’t just summarize it because it’s not easy. We sometimes learn things the hard way and I personally feel like it’s my responsibility to give you all a heads up; the emotional rides that I had gone through all this learning, the times when I had not a single shoulder to cry on, the moments that can’t come back but has left a mark on my heart and it still is dark, there’s more to that. This post wasn’t an easy ride just like the life that we spend. It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth or be honest in today’s world. I had to say it all, without any actual reason. Just feel like sometimes it’s good to say it all loud. So bring in your chai/coffee/water, pizza or a burger and enjoy the roller-coaster ride!
- First things first. Friendships don’t exist. It’s just that a person is being nice to you for a certain amount of time. Now you’ll say that I’ve friends, close people who know every single detail about me. Yes, I do. Would I call them friends? Not anymore. I don’t entitle people in my life anymore. I know great people, they’re nice to me and vice versa. We take out time for each other, we talk our hearts out, we lose touch for months, but I don’t want to entitle them. I’m just thankful to them for being there. No expectations, no drama!
- Being extrovert is great and all, been there done that! But transforming into an introvert has its own charm. The best time for me is to switch on a lamp, take a book out, sip some tea and don’t get disturbed by even a pin drop. I crave for such moments now.
- We put in so much effort in people whom we call family, neighbors, friends, colleagues, or whatever. We basically give them a name which means a place in our hearts. I do that, most of the time. The same people can trash talk, surprisingly behind your back. In the past, I used to get emotional over such things saying, “what did I do to deserve this?” But now, I’ve learned one thing. Someone who backstabs you once will do it forever. Move on and don’t trust them again.
- Smiling is something REALLY genuine. People can try hard to ruin it, can call you names like ‘joker’ and what not. They don’t know what’s inside you. Well, this world is not the right place to “be yourself” or “behave as you think.” Be yourself ONLY when NOBODY’s watching. Trust me, being devalued has hurt me the most.
- People will talk, always! Your image can be damaged, not once, not twice but for uncountable times. I’d just say one thing to myself, “You and your God knows who you are or what you say. Your clarifications don’t matter if someone has already believed in the other person. Don’t come clean, defend yourself only once upon asking and move on. If they don’t believe you, they shouldn’t matter anymore.” And remember, silence is the best Karma.
- My intentions matter to me only. I don’t care what people assume. I believe in giving only, never intended to receive things in return, not even a thank you. What I never knew was that your intentions can be clean but people will think that you’re trying to show off your wealth or basically just fulfilling a responsibility by giving. Shocker came late in life but at least now I know. Well, can’t really kick out such people, not a nice thing to do. But what do I learn here? Give but expect the WORST 🙂
- I’m no more afraid to protect what I own. What I own is my responsibility. My neighbor won’t come to save my marriage, my drowning child, or wipe my silent tears. If you judge me for being protective, go away. You matter the least to me. #KThanksBye
- If I don’t love myself, can I expect someone else to love me? NO! If you respect yourself, others will respect you.
- You have got a heavy heart, you go to your loved one and tell them how you feel about a certain moment, you basically share what you fear and they think you’re blaming them. It scares the shit out of you, trust me. Don’t be 100% accurate. Always have some jam or jelly wrapped around a sour candy. Being honest is not always good for your emotional health.
- I don’t cook if I don’t want to. Best option? Grab a take-out or get it delivered to your home. It’s always better to stay away from mean comments like, “Oh, it’s so spicy,” or “something’s missing, my sister/wife/mother/neighbor cooks so much better.” Why put in that extra hour of time and sweat in cooking when you can afford and put all the blame on the restaurant’s chef? (not kidding!) I cook for people I love ONLY! What’s for others? Two sentences, “I’m so sorry couldn’t manage time and hey, I am the worst cook, you really don’t want to ruin your meal.”
- You spend day and night to invest in a relationship. Don’t let it slip away by believing in what others say. They might tell you the truth, but there’s a slight chance that they just can’t see you happy anymore. Always face it, clarify, hear two sides of the story, be in their shoes, and decide after at least 10 days.
- Smile at everyone, believe in no one. Sour and sweet reality. I’ll thank myself later.
- Being Independent is the best feeling ever. Be it financially, morally, emotionally, you don’t have to just have someone supporting you every time. If you have the ability to stand on your own, you can do anything. No limitations, you’re free to decide whether to depend on people or stand alone with pride!
- Parents can stay up all night long just to ease your pain, we don’t know or realize that until we become parents. Now when I am a mother, I know how hard it is, sometimes. Never disrespect those two people in your life, EVER. They literally sacrifice EVERYTHING!
- It’s okay to make mistakes. One thing I’ve learned through all these years is that people don’t live in your shoes. They’ll judge you whether you’re a nice person who doesn’t say a word about anything or anyone or someone with the most inappropriate habits. They’ll talk about you whether you’re pious or dishonest.
- Work hard to play harder. Work is not everything but it’s 70% percent of your day and if you don’t put at least 90% of yourself and your brain in it, you’ll feel useless. Okay so now you’ve put all energy, what are you going to do after work? Where’s play? Well, if you don’t work, there’s no play. Bring out an extra 110% energy and give it all!
- We have such a busy lifestyle these days, especially those who’re working. We spend the whole day at work basically. But what I’ve learned is that everything that will matter to you in the next 5 years should have your attention. Love what you do but don’t neglect your family because that’s what you DID. It’s not easy to handle both sides by side. But if you can get yourself to work every morning at 7 am with full stamina (you’d be sleepy most of the days yet you’d go. Commitment!), you can have the same or better energy after 7 pm because that’s where you have committed too. AND IT WILL MATTER FOREVER!
- Don’t remind me of all the crushes/infatuations in school/college days. Okay I had been a kind of person who was boyish, mostly in extracurricular activities so had no time (still don’t), never really crushed on anyone but we all have those phases where we fall. Major major learning of my life, I’ve seen it and seen people seeing it; When you’re young, you FALL in love. When you cross 25, you SETTLE or at least look to settle in love. And post 25 is much better than pre 25.
- Happiness lies in simple things like chai-time at home instead of high-tea at a fancy place. For instance, you cook chai, look for leftover biscuits and nimko in the drawers, drop everything in a tray, slip into your PJs and crash on the sofa after a long day at work. Who’d want to go through all the struggle of planning, changing into fancy outfits, getting the fam bam ready, pre and post-makeup cum emotional trauma and the list goes on? Told ya, simple things.
- Invest in traveling with family rather than shopping in Summer/Winter/Whatever Sales. It will help you discover who you’re with. You’ll get to know each other more. Whether the trip is 3 days short or 8 weeks long, all that matters is that you’ll be away and together on the same journey.
- Invite yourself on a date night. I always used to think, “we never go on a date night.” or basically question myself, “what is a date night? Does it exist?” Now with the passing time, I’ve realized that it’s just a “title” and you yourself can create it, it doesn’t have to be planned or fancy. Mask together and munch on biryani on a couch is a date night if you “entitle” it.
- Things (read: shit) happens. So if something goes wrong or unplanned, that’s totally fine. Not everything goes as planned so live it. Aj nai to kal sahi, tu nahi to aur sahi 😉
- There are many hypocrites around us. They’re sweet on the face but can stab you harder than hard in the back, we all know that. But what I do is, instead of backstabbing/backbiting/attracting karma, I just go straight to the person and tell him/her on his face if he’s wrong or has hurt me. I cannot sleep if I don’t clarify. And I swear, being straightforward is the best thing because you never know when Karma can hit you right in the eye.
- Do one thing for yourself everyday. Yes, that’s IMPORTANT. Workout, put on a mask, take a hot bath, sing out loud in your car, anything that’s just for you and you only. If you don’t make yourself happy, you can’t keep the others happy. When you do that one thing for yourself, it’s the best thing you’ve done in the entire day basically.
- There will be a lot of negativity around you, people will say things about you that you’ve never even imagined to do. Basically, it’s their problem because they’ve problems. Again, they’re PEOPLE and they can say whatever they want. You know the reality so give a damn. In the end, truth wins so have PATIENCE and watch 🙂
- Regrets, they don’t exist. Learning is all that matters. Even if something goes wrong, that’s okay. I personally don’t regret ANYTHING, okay I can be sorry about certain things but regrets, nah. And whoever says, “haye kaash aisa karte to aisa hota,” and I’m like “Please, not in front of me.”
- Set yourself free from plans and see the adventures coming. Why plan ahead when the surprise is an adventure? 😉 Do something spontaneous and see the magic. (The featured image steals the show 🙂 )
Bonus point: Love yourself. Entirely, wholeheartedly, patiently, and crazily. If you don’t love yourself, no body else will love you.
Okay now I’ll have my paratha and let the whole workout go in the dustbin. Who cares. buh-bye!